'As trite as it sounds, we are overworked and underloved.', September 6, 2009

Husband and wife team Drs. Richard Driscoll and Nancy Ann Davis have produced yet another book about the gravely road of relationships in this very well written, readable and useable guide 'Opposites as Equals: Standard Differences between Men and Women - and How to Resolve them'. What makes this new addition to the mountain of self-help books unique is the warmly caring attitude of the writing and the downright sensible manner in which the differences between men and women are addressed. It is one thing to say that men and women are 'from different planets' and then use those differences to explain away why there will always be contrasts in the way men relate to women and women relate to men. But it is yet another thing to analyze in a most comprehensible way, using male/female symbol marks to isolated 'asides', to show how those differences can become more like assets than distractions to successful mating.  

The wise yet homespun language of this book discusses such important aspects as Listening, Hearing, and Equality in discussions between potential 'warring parties'. These chapters alone provide enough insight to warrant buying this book as a guide to improving relationships - especially married ones. An important example of this is suggesting that married couples make an agreement early on in their marriage about just how possible divorce would alter each partner's life (how children would be cared for, finances divided, etc). The 'equal parenting agreement will increase your chances of staying married and lower the chances that you will have to actually experience later what you want to avoid thinking about now'. That is how realistic and thoughtful the guidelines are in this book. Another example, 'Listen first, and say something to indicate that you have heard what your partner says. Then, in all fairness you can ask to he heard in return'. And these are but two samples of the kind of wisdom that emanates from this book.

Another aspect of the writing is the lighthearted comparison of homo sapiens to other animal members of the earth, underlining similarities that make us think differently about our 'superior' status. The mating rituals and pairing rituals, the shared traits of monogamy versus polygamy, and the running comparison of animal behavior patterns keep this book light hearted as well as seriously focused. It is rare to encounter books of this nature that make such excellent reading. The authors must be terrific therapists!

Grady Harp, September 09